Been quite a long time since my last blog post, and here I am again. I was busy with my internship - read: pain in the arse - and now I'm on my 3 months term break. From Singapore to Bali at the 22nd of September and Bali to Jakarta at the 27th. Now I'm here in my own palace. HA!
Skip talking about my trip, it was awesome, but now I have to talk about some stuffs that have been bugging my mind.
Here we go.
I believe that every single person was born unique and different. Since I was little, never in my life I wanted to look like someone else. Frankly speaking, this Risca, yes, me, was bullied, called fat, all the weird names and all that. I struggled, I cried, I felt like I was useless and I felt like there will never be a great future for me for having this appearance. Every single time I looked at the mirror all I see was an ugly bitch. I'm not saying that I'm perfect now - nothing is perfect, remember. But until one day I realised that I have nothing to be sad for.
I had a really bad gastric problem since I was in primary school, and ever since I start to eat what I like, I gained weight and I have less problem with my gastric. All I wanted is to never feel that pain anymore, and able to taste coffee and my favourite Saké again - yup I've been drinking since 12, problem?
The weight I've gained was not a problem for me, but a problem for society. Yes, I've said it right. Fat, kingkong, ugly, giant, and all those names people called me, I still remember them. And apparently calling people names makes them feel good about themselves. Well?
One day I realised, being plus-sized is not the end of the world. I still can do most of the things that skinny people does, sometimes even better than them. I don't want to brag, but being bigger and having more strength than most girls is actually a plus point for me. I don't need a man to open a jar for me. See? HAHA!
Okay, leave the joke aside, I really thought that I have this kind of body for a reason. I started to read things about fashion, I learned make up, nail art, and my dream about studying fashion design never fails me to always get my ass up everyday and look at the mirror realising how blessed I am to be different, how blessed I am to be able to show the world that the world of fashion isn't meant only for skinny girls. Always in my head, I remember a saying that we live in a world of fashion while our life and every step we take is our own runway.
Why did I write this post, people may ask. Well, I just want everyone to be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for your big booty, be thankful for your flat boobs, be thankful for your curvy hips, just be thankful.
One more thing is that I don't want to hear people saying, "Risca is just a hypocrite, telling people to be thankful for their body while she's actually dieting like mad." - Let's be clear, yes, I am on a diet for once in my lifetime I do this because I want to be healthy and I want to feel good. I want to cut my sugar and fat consumption, I want to have a healthy eating habit. Doesn't matter about how many KGs that I will shred at the end, even if I didn't manage to lose a lot, I will still be happy that I can finally manage my healthy lifestyle. I love my body no matter what. I don't care what society says, I am the most confident woman ever, I am not afraid of showing my skin, and I will never change.
People have thrown so many stones at me that I've built a stronger wall from it. I am stronger than ever.
And for people - especially girls - that are not plus-sized, fit into everything like gloves, and look flawless in pictures, please, FOR FUCK SAKE, don't keep saying "I look fat", "I'm so fat", "I'm ugly". DON'T BRING YOURSELVES DOWN AND WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO SAY, "no, you're perfect". Just keep it real. There are people that are not as lucky as you are, there are people who wants to have your size and you still say that you're fat. IF YOU'RE FAT, WHAT ARE THEY?!
Just be real, and be thankful.
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Anyway, I realised I haven't posted an update about my tattoos. I got some new ones last August and here they are!
Well, I think that's it for now. Thank you so much for spending your time reading my post. Will be back as soon as I can!
Ciao!
-Risca.K-
