New Life?

Here I am again.

It's Saturday afternoon here, and I'm all alone in my room. It's raining outside and I really need a good rest after a whole busy week, so I decided to stay at home and just have a bowl of instant noodle.

The first week was really good. It's tiring but fun. I met some new friends too. Mostly are Indonesians, and a Vietnamese friend too. We girls (yes, 7 girls) help each others, and always make hard times in class into a real funny moment. Ridiculous, but maybe you guys think that I'm really happy at the moment, but you just don't know how hard it feels right now.

At the first day of uni I felt all alone. I didn't know anyone. And I'm not that easy to fit in into new social groups. I walked alone around the campus building, ate lunch alone, went home alone, and even I didn't get dinner that day just because I was feeling really lonely. I lost my appetite.

The second and third day were better. I knew some new people, went out for dinner together after class and shared about how we feel about our new life. We all felt the same. They said that they felt lonely too. They took take-outs for dinner because no one accompany them to eat. And I was like, "God, thank You for letting me know that they're feeling the same as my feeling. I'm not alone."

The fourth day and the fifth day (which is yesterday) we girls had a real fun. Lunch and dinner together, after class workshops together, and we went for shopping at Orchard together too. At that time I just felt really good. I walked back home at 10pm with a big smile. I forgot everything about homesick for a while.

Last night I talked to my brother on Skype. I learned a lot from him. He's been away from home since I was in the 7th grade, and he told me a lot of things about living alone, away from the family. He told me things about social life too.

After I turned off my laptop and prepared to go to sleep, I was thinking about how lucky I am at the moment...

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New life. Yes.
It's all new here now. No TV, no football matches, no my favorite foods, no family members, everything. I'm starting a new page of life.

These 3 days I've been texting my lil brother and mom to tell them to go online so I can videocall them. But they're too busy and they couldn't go online. Instead of that, my mom phoned me for a couple of times to make sure that I'm okay.
Just before I started to write today, my mom phoned me too. And I don't know why my tears started to fall after I heard her voice.

I miss my mom.

When I was back home, I've never had a good relationship with my mom. We argued about everything. And everytime I was mad with her, I told her that I really wanna live far away from her, I told her I wanna stay away and never come back anymore.
The day I went to the airport, she hugged me really tight and I couldn't even see her eyes cuz my tears fell straight away. I still remember, she said "take care" just before I left. And I think that was the first time I got to hug her that tight.
I have never appreciated her presence in my life. I have never made her proud of myself.
I'm not a good daughter, and maybe I'm not the kind of daughter that she had ever asked for herself.

But know I know, how much I need her by my side. Hearing her voice really makes my day. I love you, Mom. and I miss you.


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Next week my cousin and aunt are coming to Singapore, and I begged mom to come with them too. Dad is also coming here again next week to help me with my student pass and bank account. I just hope that next week will be great and I can cherish the moment with them.

That's all for the day. I'm going out for an Indonesian BBQ Party with my friends at my campus in 2 hours. I should take a shower and get ready soon.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

xoxo,
-RiscaK-

"I wanna share your horizon, and see the same sun rising..." - Jet Lag, by: Simple Plan ft. Natasha Beddingfield <3

Hey, Mr. Lonely :)

Here I am again.

So Sunday... I'm now sitting alone at Vivo City's Skypark trying to find a good atmosphere to write something.
I just went for a walk to Sentosa's Festive Walk for a photo hunting. All alone. Of course.

Somehow it makes me think about some stuffs back home.

I have never appreciated the fact that living near your beloved family and friends is better than anything else. My dad just went back to Jakarta this afternoon, and I'm all alone now. I went for a walk by myself, ate lunch by myself, and even took photographs on "Family Vacation Spots" by myself. It's kind of sad right?

One more thing that's been bugging my mind after the Sunday walk....
I saw the beach... I went to Toys R Us and saw a rack full of Pictureka playsets... It reminds me of someone I know back then. The memories came to my mind in a matter of seconds. Geez.

One thing I learned today.
You won't appreciate the presence of your beloved ones until the day you see that they're not around you anymore.
This is what happens to me right now. I have never felt so lonely like this before.

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Anyway, today has been good to me. I finally saw the beach, felt the ocean's breeze, and enjoyed the place where I can feel the open space.
The sun shines so bright and the skies are blue. I love the weather. :)
It's 5.35pm at the moment and the sun will set soon. And maybe at that time I'll head back to my home, and spend the rest of the night with the internet and prepare for tomorrow.

IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF FASHION DESIGN'S CLASS TOMORROW!

I'm excited, I'm kind of freaking out, but who knows what will happen next? Let's just enjoy the surprises! Haha. Just please please please wish me the best luck for my future! LOL.

Anyway, time to go now. Cya guys!

xoxo,
-RiscaK-

"Do you hear me? I'm talking to you across the water, across the deep blue ocean under the open sky. Oh my baby, I'm trying..." - Lucky, by: Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat. :)